Repeated offence
by bibi 13ca
Summary: Set somewhere in season four. Alicia decides to get over Will but finds it harder than she thought. "Every single thing seems to remind her of him. A chair, a bed, a sofa, a glass of water, a bottle of beer… Every. Single. Thing." Ignoring your heart is not as easy as people think and not just because you have to take the damn organ wherever you go...


**N: **I am really excited to share this with my amazing and supportive girls. I must admit I have just finished this after a 10 hours shift at work and three glasses of my favorite Chardonnay so…do hope it makes sense. Please take the time to let me know what you think. I do love reading your thoughts.

As usual, don't own anything and making no $ from this.

Not edited by anyone but my tipsy self, English not my first language, blah blah, sorry for the mistakes. If you do find an embarrassingly huge one, do PM me to let me know. Thanks and enjoy!

**Always Him**

"So, what made you decide to do it? Open your own firm?" Peter asks.

Alicia opens her mouth only to close it just a fraction of a second later without uttering a word. Her gaze travels from her husband to the small white stain on his shoe to the floor and up the wall right beside him. Did she really think he wasn't going to ask? Should she simply tell him the truth? That her feelings for her college friend were playing an important role in her decision. That the 'affair' she had with Will hadn't been just an affair. That it meant more, so much more. No. Probably not a good idea.

"Alicia_" he starts but she stops him with an abrupt: "It's time." She doesn't really know why it's time. She had been drowning in her feelings for Will for months. Why now? Maybe it had been the kiss in her office. Or the one in the car. Or the fact that she couldn't stop thinking about him. She had no idea. All she knew was that she had to put some distance between herself and Will Gardner.

Peter lets out a long sigh that she is sure the neighbors heard. They weren't fooling anyone and they both knew it.

"I need to ask you something. I never did…" another sigh "Part of me never wanted to know," now Alicia turns her gaze back to her husband. She frowns, for the first time in a while unable to predict a question coming her way. "That night, you met me at the bench," he continues and Alicia lets out a soft breath. Now she knows. She knows what he is going to ask and she is not sure if she wants to hurt him with the truth. Yes, he had hurt her. He hurt her in ways she never thought she could be hurt. Not by someone she loved and was supposed to love her. Maybe he deserved it. Yet, it wasn't in her nature to hurt someone. Not intentionally anyway.

"Peter don't," she pleads in a small voice, but it's too late. There is that twinkle in his eyes and it can only mean one thing. Peter Florrick was hurt and angry. A combination that was very dangerous. He always lost his rationality when it happened.

"No, no longer. I want to know," he demands in a deep voice. "Did you come that night because you were pregnant with Zac?" he lets out the question in one breath. She expects him to look away, but he doesn't. Maybe they were finally done hiding. Maybe, just maybe, they were finally going to be honest with each other.

Alas, honesty has never been their strong suit, so she asks in a whisper: "what difference does it make? I made a commitment to you. You are the one that broke that commitment Peter, not me."

"I gave you a choice."

"I know."

"But I wasn't your first choice was I?" he asks quickly. His voice raising a few decibels.

Alicia doesn't say anything. She closes her eyes briefly and a tear falls on her right cheek as she re-opens them. Why can't he stop pushing? She had had no choice, not really.

"It was him wasn't it? It's always been him?" he goes on and her bottom lip shakes slightly. He notices and passes a frustrated hand through his hair. "No, don't! You can't hide behind tears now. I want to know. Say you weren't pregnant with my child. Would you have still come to me? Or would you have gone to him?" his voice is still and strong up until the last word when it shakes slightly.

God, what is she supposed to do now?

"Answer me Damnit!" he pushes grabbing her arm and shaking her whole body.

"Peter please, you're hurting me."

"Answer the God damn question!"

"I don't know. I_" but that's all that she manages to get out before Jackie comes through the door and gets inside shaking her umbrella.

"I heard shouting and," she stops and looks at them. Her eyes open wide. "Peter, let her go!" she demands and obedient son that he is, Peter's grip on Alicia's arm loosens immediately.

After fifteen interminable minutes, both mother and son are gone, leaving Alicia once more alone in her apartment. Alicia kicks off her heels, pours herself a glass of wine and lets her mind drift nearly seventeen years into the past.

***LG***

"_Alicia! Alicia!" Peter has to call her name three more times before she finally looks up from her glass of red wine. _

"_Uh? Sorry, I didn't hear you."_

"_Yeah, I noticed. Who was that on the phone earlier?" he asks and immediately notices the tale tell sign of guilt. The one thing he both loved and hated about her: she was a terrible liar. Always wearing her emotions on her face._

"_I…it's…wasn't important," she stumbles._

"_Was it him?" Peter asks, pretty sure he already knows the answer. Every time she talks to him she becomes spaced out for the rest of the day. Lost in thought. As if her body is present, but her mind had traveled to him. Will Gardner. The bane of Peter's existence. Why did Alicia have to stay in touch with her college 'friend' anyway? It wasn't right. Peter was familiar with the story. Once Will graduated, they had decided to go in separate ways. He went to intern in New York, she came to Chicago. He went to work for some big, fancy firm, she decided to stay. Three years have passed since they graduated. Almost two years since they last saw each other. Yet somehow, they still spoke every week on the phone. Sometimes for a few minutes, sometimes for hours. And each time they spoke, his girl turned into a zombie for a couple of hours. Frankly, Peter was tired of it._

"_Damnit Alicia, you clearly have feelings for him," he says a bit harsher than he intended. As soon as the words leave his mouth she shakes her head softly. _

"_Peter please, we are just friends."_

"_You are a terrible liar," he protests. "Every time you lie, you look to the right or down for a few seconds. Look, I am going to make it easy on you. I am going to be away for ten days. The trip with the boys it's only five days, but I need to spend a few days at home too, with my mother. I will be back Friday the 12__th__. Friday evening at 7PM, I will go to our bench and wait for you there. If you love me, meet me there, if you love him, just go… go to him." Alicia opens her mouth to protest, but Peter raises a hand to stop her before continuing. "No questions asked, just make a choice. But Alicia, if you pick me, you better stop pining over him."_

_With that he finishes his glass, picks up his sunglasses and leaves. _

Alicia only remembers bits and pieces of those ten days she had been given to make a choice. She remembers Will telling her to come to him. She remembers Hanna telling her Peter was a great catch. That he was handsome, smart, ambitious, rich and charming. Of course, Hanna had never met Will Gardner. She remembers the heat wave and the humming sound of the old AC in her apartment. She remembers watching TV with her brother while he visits for two days. She also remembers packing her bags and booking a flight to New York. But what Alicia remembers most clearly is how two lines appeared on her pregnancy test. The way her mind filled with a weird buzzing sound after the doctor confirmed the pregnancy. After that, there are barely any memories left. She thinks, but she is still not sure, that Hanna was the one who cancelled her flight and unpacked her bags. She vaguely recalls calling Will, but doesn't remember a word she said.

True to his word, Peter had not asked her one question once she arrived at their bench. He simply smiled and took her in his arms. Almost a month later, she asked Peter to get her a pregnancy test.

In an impulsive move, Alicia puts her glass on the table and rushes to her room. She goes straight to the second drawer, pulls out an old notebook and starts flipping the pages.

"B, C, Ca, Co, Cu, Cult!" she grabs the phone, dials the number and waits. A male voice picks up after three rings.

"Hello, I am sorry to bother you at this time," she says even though it is only 9pm. "I am looking for Hanna Cult," she finishes and holds her breath. She knows the odds that her friend's parents still live in the same house as twenty years ago are slim, but she has to try.

"I am sorry, my daughter is not here right now."

Alicia holds in a cry of joy. "I am a friend from school. We are planning a reunion. You happen to have her cellphone number Mr. Cult?"

A few minutes later Alicia is dialing a different number.

***LG***

"Will, I need to talk to you," Alicia murmurs from the doorway. Will turns around to face her, places his hand on the phone and asks if it's urgent. "Kind of," she tilts her head. "Not too urgent, but today," she goes on.

Will nods. "End of the day, my office?" he asks. Alicia approves with a nod, mouths the words 'thank you' and leaves.

It always amazes Alicia that a place with so much movement and noise, could actually get so quiet at night. It's 10:30pm by the time she is done. She lets the pen roll from her fingers, arranges her papers and gets up. She thinks Will must've left already. Too bad, she had been hoping to tell him tonight. Every day she is keeping this from him is agony.

However, when she walks out of her office and passed her secretary's desk, she sees him. In his office. Beer bottle opened and about five books dispersed all over his desk. Alicia stops in her tracks. She takes a few good minutes to just look at him. The image reminds her so much of their time at Georgetown. Studying together all night for a particularly difficult exam. Having cold pizza and beer at three in the morning. God how she loves to just look at him. Simply watching him in his element. Be that in his office, in the conference room or in the court room, she enjoys admiring him. Often times she wonders if people are watching her watch him. Often times she doesn't care if they do.

Suddenly he looks up. Busted!

He makes a sign with his hand and as if he had pressed a button, she immediately starts walking towards him. She realized some time ago, she really enjoyed walking to him. Always him. Once she pushes the door open, she hesitates, remembering why she is there.

"Come in Alicia, what's wrong?"

Damn him. Will Gardner had always been able to read her like a book. In their second year in law school, Alicia spilled coffee on one of Will's books. She had immediately replaced the book in question, planning on never telling Will about it. He had always said she had too much coffee. She had managed to keep it from him for two days and one of those days, they did not see each other. Pathetic.

"I…please don't hate me," she mumbles and he frowns at her.

He gets up from his desk. "Sit down, please," he offers, taking a seat himself in the opposite armchair. She hesitates and he frowns once more. "Alicia, you're scaring me."

"Will, I am leaving the firm," she blurts out without any tact.

"Excuse me?" he asks in disbelief.

The hurt in his eyes remind her for a split second of Peter. Yet somehow more devastating. She looks away. Looking at him, seeing him hurt is too much. She lets out a soft breath and sits in the armchair. People thought Peter Florrick broke her. The truth was he hadn't. He couldn't have. The only man capable of truly breaking Alicia was sitting right across from her.

Everyone kept asking Alicia how come she had stayed with Peter after he broke her heart. The answer was simple. He never actually did. He didn't break her heart, not truly. Had he hurt her? Yes, of course he did, and badly so. But her heart…her heart hadn't been his to break. Alicia had given her heart away long before she had even met Peter Florrick. And she never got it back.

"I thought about it a lot and it's the best option. At first I wanted to start my own firm, but it's too much so I decided to join Louis Canning instead."

He doesn't say anything for a long time and she is tempted to bolt. She wants to run under the bed and stay there until she knows for sure he has forgiven her.

"I don't understand. You got the bump in the salary you wanted. What do you want?"

"No. I mean, this has nothing to do with money."

"Then what?"

"Will…"

"Did someone make you feel unwelcome?"

"No, it's not that."

"Is it coz you are not a named partner? These things take time Alicia. But it will happened, I promise you. You are a great lawyer. You will get there."

"It's… thank you Will, but no, it's not that."

"I thought you were happy here."

"I was," she answers fast. Too fast to realize the tense of the verb. "I am," she corrects, but too late.

"You were? Not anymore?"

"No, I am, it's just_"

He interrupts. "You are happy?"

"I am."

"So you are leaving because you are happy?"

"No, I am leaving because…"

"Because of what Alicia? I took you in," he stands up and starts pacing around the office. "Nobody wanted you, but I took you in," he makes his way back to her. Every bit of the intimidating lawyer that he is. And hell she finds him so sexy. All fueled up like that. Every cell in her body wants him, yarns for him. She wants to cry, because she had to give him up twice already and she knows that she cannot do it a third time. She won't survive if she had to let him go one more time.

He leans in, one hand on each of the arm rests of the chair she is seated in. She shivers. Her body automatically responding to his. "I fought for you," he says in a softer tone.

"I know," she rebuts.

"Then why are you leaving?"

This time the words penetrate her feeble defenses. When he came to him, she never had much of a defense to begin with.

"I have to Will," she answers weakly. Her voice shaky and delicate.

"Why?"

"Because of you."

Finally, the truth had been spoken. The silence around them is thick and pressing. Will pulls back as if she had slapped him. Once again he looks more hurt than angry and she can't help it, she has to explain herself. "Will, there's this thing between us that I can't control. I am tired of trying. Nothing has changed. I am still married. I still have two children who need me. I am still in the public eye. I can't do it. It's too hard. Being close to you and not being able to…it hurts Will," her voice becomes shaky once more and stubborn tears are sliding down her heated cheeks.

Will grabs a paper weight from his desk and throws it across the room before letting himself fall defeated in the chair across from her.

She jumps at the noise as the small object makes contact with the wall. She covers her mouth with her hand and takes a deep breath in. She has to pull herself together. She has no other choice.

Once again Will finds himself in an impossible situation. He wants to comfort her, hold her close and whisper sweet nothings in her ear. He wants to use his lips and tongue to collect every tear from her cheeks and neck. He wants to be able to give her what she needs. But he can't. Because she is not his. Not his to console, not his to help or save.

A week later she's gone.

Two weeks later they're at each other's throats fighting for their clients on opposite sides. They both knew it was inevitable, yet neither realized just how difficult it would be.

***LG***

For the first month at the new firm, Alicia finds herself wanting to talk to Will Gardner about ten times a day. Whenever she hits a wall in a case, she wants to ask for his advice. Whenever she's making a discovery, she wants to ask for his approval. She misses him like a lost limb.

She sees him everywhere she goes. Christ, even when he is not there she sees him. She dreams about him too, more and more each night. When she is not asleep and dreaming about him, she fantasizes about him. She spent over seventeen years being married to another man. With Will, she only had a couple of months filled with hotel rooms and stolen moments. Yet, her head seems to be full only with memories of the two of them. Every single thing seems to remind her of him. A chair, a bed, a sofa, a glass of water, a bottle of beer… Every. Single. Thing. Her shower that morning lasted fifty minutes instead of the usual twenty because she had flashbacks of them in the shower together. His eager, soppy hands sliding over her body. His hot mouth at her neck. His lips brushing against her flesh. His fingers teasing her nipples. Her whole body begging for him. She had no choice after that but to relieve the pressure. She and Peter are sleeping together again. It helps, but not enough. Often times she holds back, for fear of crying out Will's name. Even when she is not holding back, it's still not enough. Will Gardner had stimulated her mind, body and soul. Their years of friendship had made it impossible to ever be just sex between them. They could spend hours pleasuring one another, but they could just as well spend hours talking. The ugly truth, the truth that Alicia was doing her best to avoid: her husband just doesn't do it for her anymore.

Often times she cries herself to sleep because she came to miss Will and want him to the point of physical pain. He had been an extraordinary lover indeed, and her body seemed to want to punish her for letting him go. Will possessed what most men lacked. A perfect balance between passion and patience. And of course, as much as Alicia hated to admit, experience. Will Gardner had always had a way with women. It used to drive her crazy at Georgetown. She used to think those girls pining over him were pathetic. Not that she had sex with him, she understood.

But the sex was not all she missed. She missed talking to him and arguing with him. She missed asking for his advice. She missed his scent, his voice, his… everything.

He is still mad at her for leaving Lockhart/Gardner. She is mad at him for taking advantage of his intimate knowledge of her in court in order to beat her.

Alicia was almost certain she started losing her sanity one day at the time.

***LG***

"Hold that please," Alicia yells running to the elevator. Just as the doors are about to close, they re-open and she rushes inside, colliding with none other than Will freaking Gardner.

In a rush to get away from him, she loses her footing and grabs his arm. Will's hands immediately snake around her waist to keep her from falling. Flashbacks from her latest dream of him invade her mind. There are images of her and Will in his apartment. His strong, male body pressed hard against her own. His hands on her thighs, his lips on her neck…

Her whole body heats up. Her heart spreads everywhere and a delicious and sinful shiver goes up her spine. As if they have a mind of their own, her own arms loop around his neck fallowing a familiar pattern.

"You smell good," Will whispers, taking her by surprise. They were throwing insults at each other barley two weeks ago. His voice is slightly hoarse and deep and Alicia feels it all the way in her lower belly. He sounds like one of the sins and she is only human.

"So do you," she answers without thinking. She closes her eyes briefly and takes a deep breath in. Oh he does smell good. Like pine and leather and fire. He smells like Will. He smells like everything she's ever wanted… and damn him because she wants him now.

"I miss you," he murmurs, this time so close to her ear, she can feel his breath on her skin. She trembles in his arms. Would she ever be able to be around this man and not want him? Probably not.

"I miss you too," she says honestly. She is not sure at all what is happening. Where are these confessions coming from? It wasn't supposed to happen this way. Not anymore. That was why she left his firm.

His hand starts moving up and down her back, while the other slips lower on her hips and ass. "Please don't…" Alicia pleads weakly. Despite her plea, she doesn't move away. She can't. His hands feel too warm and familiar on her body. His breath against her flesh, feels like a caress she's been yearning for since the beginning of time.

"I miss the feel of your skin," his hand dips under her blazer. His fingers work expertly, until her shirt is out of her tight, gray skirt. Before she can process what is happening, his hand finds bare flesh. She lets out a gasp at the first contact. His hands are slightly cold and her skin is burning. Around him, her skin is always burning. "So soft," he goes on, moving his hand up to her collar bone. "And the way your body responds to mine," as if to prove his point, he traces his fingers slowly down her chest, all the way to her bellybutton. Predictably enough, her body undulates to his touch. Because his touch has always felt like the answer to her prayers.

Encouraged by her response, Will turns them around. He presses her against the wall, lifting her skirt in the process. His eager fingers loose no time in finding their path up her thigh and to her core.

"Will," she lets out a moan as he cups her sex. Alicia could swear she had meant to say more. To tell him to stop and to get away from him. But damn him, it's like he has a map of her body. He knows exactly where and how to touch to make her mind go blank.

"You're wet," he purrs.

He strokes her once. Twice. Her breaths turn into pants.

"We…ahh, God Will, we can't," she pleads. She prays he will have the mercy to stop, because she doesn't have the strength to stop him. Because her body is already humming with excitement to finally be back in his arms. Because her mind is no longer connected to the rest of her.

"Why not? You want me," he says and Alicia tries protesting. "Don't lie to me," he warns before nibbling at her earlobe. "You can't deny it Alicia," oh how she loves the way he says her name, especially during intimate moments. It sounds like her name, yet it doesn't. It sounds like her name, if her name was made out of chocolate, dipped in hot, dripping caramel.

"We're in an elevator," she manages to get out before his thumb brushes over her clit and her head falls backwards. She lets out a cry of pleasure and feels him smirk against the sensitive skin of her neck. He always did know just where an how to touch her to make her purr. Charming Devil, he could corrupt a nun. What chance did she, a mare little mortal, have against him.

"Yes we are. Any moment now the doors are going to open and people are going to see the First Lady of Illinois cum by my hand. Undone in the arms of a man other than your husband. Tusk, Tusk, Tusk."

His words have a strange effect on her. Instead of making her pull away, they make her hotter, wetter. She is melting for him. Will likes to talk dirty, always had. She likes it too. Hell, she loves it.

The 'ding' sound as the elevator comes to a stop, sounds like a fire alarm to them both. Will literally jumps back. As soon as the doors open, Alicia runs out and into the first bathroom she can find.

***LG***

The next time they are alone together it's in her office.

"I am good Camy just go!" she urges. The young assistant finally says good night and leaves. Alicia rolls her eyes and takes a peak at the digital clock on the wall. Nearly midnight. Only minutes later she hears the elevator doors open once more. She looks up from her papers, ready to literally push Camy out of the door, only it's not the young woman. It's Will Gardener.

"Nice office," he says.

"I…thanks," she mumbles back. How he manages to look so good after a full day is beyond her. Always has been. They man must be into dark magic. She wants to say more, ask him what he is doing in her office so late, but she can't. The sight of him had always been enough to make it difficult for her to think for several minutes. It was as if every time she saw him, her mind had to do a reboot.

"I was going to leave this," he holds up her little notebook. Oh, so that's what happened to it, she thinks to herself. "At the reception downstairs, but I saw lights on," he goes on and Alicia wonders how come he knew that it was her office. "What are you doing in the office so late anyway?"

Alicia raises an eyebrow at him. "As if you don't know. You had us in court today and you know it."

Will simply shrugs. "Don't sell yourself short Alicia. You held your own. I just had a better hand that's all."

She smiles. "Thanks. Come in," she says softly getting up from the chair behind the large, oak desk. "Thank you for the notebook, I was hoping I left it at home."

"No, in court," he explains taking a few steps from the doorway. He hands her the small notebook. Their fingers touch. She gasps as if his skin electrocuted her. Their eyes meet and a split second later they lunge at each other at the same time. Their kiss is bruising and desperate. Alicia drops the notebook from her hand and buries her fingers in his hair. His arms go around her, pulling her close. He is holding her so tight it's almost painful, but she welcomes it.

He feels her as she pulls him closer, pushing her own body against him. Closer and closer as if she is trying to merge with him. This woman will be his undoing. He had always known, from the first moment he met her. He takes two steps forward, picks her up and places her on the desk. Thanks to her tight pencil shirt, he can't spread her legs so he stretches his hand, grabs a pair of scissors and cuts the material right in the middle. She is a lawyer. Any respectable lawyer will have at least one change of clothes in their office.

"Will, what are you_" Alicia starts, but gets cut off as he drags her hips to the edge and presses himself between her legs. She can feel his erection against her core and she lets out a soft, needy mew.

"If I put my hand here," he rocks his hips back and forward, which gains him another moan from her. "Will I find you wet and ready for me?" he goes on and a strangled "yes," comes out of her throat.

"Turn around and lean on the desk for me," he orders and she obeys. Alicia had always liked her men a little on the dominant side. Peter had been rather passive in bed. Eventually, after many years, she sort of trained him to give her what she needed. That hadn't worked though, not really. According to his hooker, he liked to be dominated. Will however had a naturally domineering personality. Her mind goes blank as Will pushes her panties aside and slips two fingers inside her. She moves to get up, but his voice stops her.

"Don't! Palms flat on the desk or I stop," he warns and she resumes her position. He pushes his digits in deeper, curling them within her walls. "Like wet silk," he groans at her ear and she is gone. Just when she is about to cum, he pulls his fingers out. "Turn," he says simply. Once again, Alicia finds herself unable to disobey his command. She turns around just in time to see Will bring his fingers to his mouth and licking them clean. She lets out a soft mew. The man will be the death of her. she should've known better.

He uses his hand to brush a few papers and law magazines clean off her desk. Before she can protest, he picks her up and places her on top of the desk. "I need more… I need a proper taste of you," he growls.

"Wha_" she stops as he takes off her panties.

"Lean back and spread your legs Alicia," he orders. She hesitates. He looks up at her. His stare is so intense, she can feel it on her. "Alicia," he warns. "If I have to ask again, I will put you over my knees," he threatens. She shivers at his words. Slowly, she lets her upper body drop against the wooden surface.

Without any warning, his head is between her thighs, his tongue against her wet, hot core. His strokes are soft, barely there, long and precise. Up, down, up, down. So slow, and it feels so good. Alicia closes her eyes and gives herself over to the sensation. He changes to left-to-right movements and a few minutes later the tip of his tongue is going in circles around her clit. Her whole body quivers in pleasure. Her breathes consist of sharp pants and breathy moans. His lips close over the tense bundle of nerves and sucks. A raw cry rips from her throat. She is close to her orgasm once more. She can feel it building within. Her muscles contract, her heart-beat accelerates. Closer, closer…his tongue feels incredible, wet and smooth…closer…and he stops. "I haven't decided if I want to let you cum yet," he says in a raspy, deep voice that has her wanting him even more.

"Please," she pleads softly. He is back between her legs before she can make a proper sentence. Again, he starts at a ridiculously slow pace. "Will please," she whimpers. He dips the tip of his tongue at her entrance. She cries out his name again. "You're lucky I love making you cum," he says against her core. "I love the way you moan. And the way you say my name," the vibrations from his deep masculine voice make her legs shake. She is at the edge again. His tongue finds that incredible spot right underneath her bundle of nerves. He is lapping at her as if he is trying to clean her out of existence.

Alicia is no longer aware of where she is. She can barely remember her own name. Right before an earth shattering orgasm takes over her, she moves her hand to grab the edge of the desk. Several items shake and tumble to the floor. There's an unmistakable sound of broken glass, but she's no longer conscious enough to perceive it. She yells Will's name to the ceiling like a prayer of worship, over and over again as she rides her orgasm.

He only gives her a few minutes before he starts licking her up and down all over again, making her dizzy and wanting all over again. She wants more. This time she needs more. More friction, more of him. "Will, I need you, please," she begs. He pulls up and frowns.

"Damn! I don't have a fucking condom," he barks.

"I don't care," Alicia says as she gets up in a sitting position. She reaches for his belt. "Please," she pleads again. She feels like she might lose her mind if he is not inside of her in the next two minutes. Will lets her undo his belt and unzip his pants. Once she is done, he takes a step back and pushes his trousers over his hips along with his boxer briefs. His erection springs free. Long, thick and proud. Alicia's mouth waters. She wants to drop to her knees and guide him in her mouth. She remembers the sounds he makes when she takes him in, slow and deep and she gets wetter then she already was. Maybe some other time. Right now she wants to feel him inside of her more than anything. She wraps her legs around his hips. Her heels digging into the tight muscles of his ass.

"Stay still," he says softly.

"Yes sir," she answers from reflex. He lets out a breath at her words. A reminded of their time together. Of the little power-play they enjoyed due to the fact that she was his employee. He buries himself inside of her inch by slow inch. She closes her eyes and bites her lip. Once he is in to the hilt, he lowers his head and whispers in her year: "God, I have missed the feel of you."

An unfamiliar yet powerful sensation settles in Alicia's stomach. From there it travels up her chest and stops in her throat, bringing with it an overwhelming urge to cry. She wants to take a moment and think about what it means, but then he moves. His mouth drops to that sensitive spot on her shoulder. He uses his left hand to pull aside her shirt. He licks and kisses the skin before letting his teeth sink in just enough to make her lose contact with reality once more.

He is fucking her hard and fast, like he is punishing her for something. Hell, maybe he is. Maybe he is a little bitter that she left his firm… left him. Each of his powerful thrusts are sending her further and further on the wooden surface of her desk. Her phone is the first to fall to the ground. The sound muffled by the carpet that reaches that side of the desk. Her coffee mug meets the same fate as the phone only seconds later.

"Will, I'm…Oh, please don't stop," anything she says after that becomes non-recognizable. He wasn't planning on stopping anyway, Will thinks. Not until he fucked her well enough to make it impossible for her to think of anything else for days.

She comes hard. Her whole body shakes with pleasure. He pulls out almost all the way. He drags her body closer to the edge, grabs both her legs in one hand by the ankles and lifts them up. Once he secures his other hand on her hip, he slams back into her. He knows full well that this position has him reaching that spot on her upper wall. He knows it makes her wild. Her moans turn into a long cry as he moves faster and faster. This time when she comes, he follows her.

They stay like that, tangled, unmoving, for a few minutes. They pretend, just for a few moments that the world outside doesn't exist.

Will is the first to move. He pulls out and helps Alicia off the desk. She winces. She knows she is going to be sore for at least two days. Before Alicia can even think of something to say, he is at the door. "Good night Alicia," he says so casually. Like they hadn't just had incredible sex in her office. Like she hadn't just had three mind-blowing orgasms within the last thirty minutes. Like it meant nothing. She doesn't answer and he doesn't wait for an answer. A minute later the elevator doors open and close, letting Alicia know he is gone.

A single tear slides down her cheek. She wipes it off immediately. It doesn't help to dwell on things and she knows it. She takes her thorn skirt and shoves it in her bag. After that she walks into her private bathroom. She cleans herself up and puts on her spare shirt. When she walks back into her office, she notices that it looks like the place had been robbed. One by one, she picks up the falling objects from the floor. Her phone, her mug – luckily it had been empty – her picture-frame. "Oh," she curses under her breath. The glass is broken. It's a picture of her and Peter and the kids. So appropriate that it broke. Just like she had just broken her vows. Sure, her and Peter were not in the best of terms, but that didn't make her any less of a married woman.

"Damnit!" she lets out a deep sigh. The whole point of her leaving his firm was to keep herself away from him. Yet somehow, since she left Lockhart\Gardner she almost slept with Will in an elevator. And now she _did_ sleep with him, in her office. Missing him had made her reckless. Her plan had failed miserably.

***LG***

She calls again for the third time when he finally answers. It's been nearly two months since they had sex in her office. Also, two weeks since they last saw each other. Alicia closes her eyes and prays to a God she doesn't believe in. She prays that Will Gardner will answer his phone. She prays he will hear her out, give her a chance to explain.

"Alicia?" he asks in a sleepy voice. "What's wrong?"

Just hearing his voice makes her chest contract with emotion. "Will, hi. Nothing's wrong. I need to see you," she answers.

"I…it's two in the morning, can't it wait until tomorrow?"

"No, I need to see you now, please!"

"Alright, come over," he gives in and she barely keeps herself from jumping up and down with joy.

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes." She just wants to give him some time, because she is already there. Alicia has been parked in front of Will's building for the past thirty minutes.

Despite spending over thirty minutes in her car, once in front of the door Alicia panics slightly. She wants to take a minute to compose herself, think of what and how to say to him. But she is not given the opportunity to think up a strategy. The door opens and there he is. A pair of gray pajama pants hanging low on his narrow hips. White t-shirt and ruffled hair. She is sure he had never looked more beautiful. All her emotions seemed to have gathered in her throat. They formed a neat little knot which was making it difficult for her to swallow. For weeks now, her emotions simmered right at the surface, ready to burst at any moment. For someone in control of their emotions since the age of ten, she thinks it's only normal she will lose her grip eventually. And this…it seemed like a worthy cause. She smiles to herself as she suddenly realizes exactly what she will say to him and how.

"Alicia, what are you doing here?" his tone is a little harsh, but it's not like she can blame him. They haven't seen each other in weeks and now she just showed up at his door in the middle of the night.

She doesn't allow herself to be discouraged though. Clenching at the papers in her arms, she takes in a deep breath. "I am here to tell you a story," she says and he frowns. "Can I come in?"

Without a word, he moves aside to let her in, closing the door behind her.

"Alicia I_" he starts but she doesn't let him finish. She is there for a reason and she can't let anything stand in the way. Not anymore.

"Many years ago, a girl, let's call her Alice, started her first year at Georgetown," his mouth falls open, but no words come out. Alicia takes it as a good sign. Even though he hasn't invited her to sit, she places her bag and papers on the couch and sits next to them. "She got a crush on a boy. Let's call him Bill," she smiles softly and he returns the gesture. She never realized just how much she craved his smiles up until this moment. He really did have a great smile. "She didn't tell him how she felt…" she feels like Will might have something to say at this, but he surprises her yet again. "They became friends. Soon, they started doing everything together. He was charming and popular. She was shy and quiet. Even though in her third year she started dating someone else, her crush on Bill never went away. You see, she had wanted to date Bill, but she had been afraid. She kept away because they were friends and she didn't want to ruin that. Because she didn't trust that someone like him could feel the same way for someone like her. She was sure he was just going to break her heart. So when Bill asked her out, she said no."

Will grabs a chair and takes a seat right in front of her. So far he liked the story. Well, parts of it anyway. He was finally about to hear the truth. He had always wondered. Because he thought she had liked him…more than a friend. The few kisses they shared told him this much. Yet, she had refused to go out with him.

"Even though Bill and Alice cared a lot about each other, they graduated and went their separate ways. He left for New York and she didn't follow," she says and bites her lip as the expression on Will's face changes slightly. "They stayed in touch."

She looks away for a few seconds, gathering the courage to get to the next part. "She met…let's call him Pete, in their third year. She liked Pete very much, even though Pete didn't like Bill, Alice kept in touch with her friend. Pete thought Alice had feelings for Bill. One day he asked her to choose. He gave her ten days to think about it and make a choice. To stay with Pete or go to Bill. So she did, she made a choice."

Alicia crosses her legs, smoothing her skirt before continuing. "She made her bags and bought a plane ticket to New York." Will looks at her confused and she smiles at him sadly. "But Alice was sick. Her period late. So her best friend got her a pregnancy test," Will opens his mouth but Alicia shakes her head. "It was positive. She was pregnant." She lets out a long breath and Will passes his hand through his hair. This story is going to be bitter-sweet for them both. She knew that from the start. But she had to tell him the whole story. "Alice was pregnant with Pete. There was no more choice for her. After she found out," Alicia takes in another deep breath letting it out slowly. "She spent three days in limbo. She didn't sleep, didn't eat. She just lay on a very," her eyes water but she smiles. "Very ugly couch, mourning her loss. So," she shakes her head, pushing away the tears threatening to break free from her glassy eyes. "So, she went to Pete. They got married and…she was happy. Mostly. Deep down, she always felt like something was missing, but she always ignored the feeling." She tucks her hair behind her ear, feeling nervous for the next part. "Years later, fate brought Alice and Bill together again. She went for an interview at his firm. Stepping out of the elevator, she looked up and saw him," her eyes water once more, but she doesn't cry. "One look at him and she felt like a girl again. Her palms started to sweat, her heart sped up, booming in her chest like a drum. Her knees buckled and her breath caught in her throat. Somehow he looked better than she remembered…" she smiles at Will again. "Alice got hired and started spending more time around Bill. She tried. She really did try not to feel the way she felt. She was a married woman. She had two children who needed her, who depended on her. And Bill was her boss. They both had every reason to stay away." Will crosses his arms in front of his chest, but remains quiet. "One night, they were both working late. They had lost a case and she was comforting Bill about it. It was stupid and wrong, but he kissed her. And it felt…" she closes her eyes briefly. "It felt perfect. So perfect that it scared Alice. She ran to her car, but before going in, she changed her mind. She had denied herself pleasure and happiness for so long. She felt like she deserved some. She rushed back, but Bill was no longer there. This gave her time to re-think her decision. She was after all a married woman whose husband had just returned home. But her whole body had been awakened with that kiss. She felt lust like she has never felt before. Her body ached with need_"

"Alicia_" Will breaths.

"No, please," she interrupts. Her eyes begging him to understand what's to come. "Alice went home. To the one man she was allowed to have. She closed all the blinds, turned off the light and used her husband," this time Will is the one who looks away. The gesture hurts Alicia, but she had to be honest with him. "She decided to give her marriage to Pete another chance. Unwilling to admit that she was using him to stay away from Bill." Alicia is no longer looking at Will at this point. She is afraid that seeing even a trace of hurt on his handsome face will deter her from finishing the story. And she has to finish the story. "It didn't work and when she found out that Pete had slept with her best friend_"

"What?" Will shouts.

"She kicked him out," Alicia continues as if Will never interrupted her. "Her plan is still to stay away from Bill of course. But the need and want inside kept building and building until one day, she gave in. It was supposed to be a one night only thing. One spectacular night and nothing more. But things didn't go according to plan. Even though she was still married, even though she was having an affair, the time she spent with Bill, had been the happiest she'd ever been."

Alicia notices Will's chest raising and falling more rapidly than before. So was hers. "But they were fooling themselves. Alice was still a wife and a mother. Mother of two beautiful children she loved more than anything in the world. So when her only daughter got lost, Alice blamed herself for being distracted with Bill. So she…" Alicia stops for a few seconds. This time the tears fall free on her cheeks despite herself. "She had to let him go," she continues. Breathing deeply, she wipes away her tears. "It had been the hardest thing Alice ever did. It nearly broke her," a soft sob rips through her. Will reaches for her, but Alicia stops him once more by raising her hands. "Just let me finish. We are near the end," she says and he nods. His face looks anguished and she curses herself for putting him through this. "She put on a brave face, but every day was…agony. Being so close to him yet unable to…" her bottom lip trembles. "…to touch him, to be with him. They might not have been together, but he hunted her. She saw him everywhere she went. She dreamed about him constantly," another deep breath. "The proximity to him without the ability to actually be with him was killing her," she wipes another tear and to her surprise, once she looks up at Will once more, his eyes are watery too. "So she decided to go to another firm. Put some distance between them. But it didn't work. She had been stupid to think it would work. If over eighteen years weren't able to vanquish her feelings for him, nothing was or ever will be." Alicia uncrossed her legs. "Three weeks ago, Pete asked her to give their marriage one more chance."

Will cleared his throat. "Alicia, don't!" he pleads. To his surprise she smiles at him.

"Alice couldn't do it," she says in a hurry and Will let out an unintelligible hum. "She was not in love with her husband. She had never been. She loved him, yes. But she wasn't in love with him. She_"

"Alicia," he whispers.

"I told you. All that time Alice felt something had been missing from her life. But Bill…being with him she felt complete. She felt whole."

"Three weeks," Will starts in a hoarse voice. "Why did you wait so long?"

"I…" she picks up the papers from the couch next to her and hands them to Will.

"What are these?" he asks taking them automatically from her hand.

"Divorce papers," she says simply.

"Di…what? That's why you…"

"I have been a divorced woman for three hours."

"But…"

"I love you Will. I have from the moment I met you," the words come out in a rush. She smiles through tears. "I am sorry for everything. I…am I too late, Will?"

Will stands up from the chair. The papers fall from his lap at his feet. In one long step he is in front of her. "The voicemail you asked me about. I lied to you. I didn't tell you you were right. I didn't tell you to drop it. I told you I loved you. That I have loved you since Georgetown. I told you I will do anything to be with you. Make a plan, make whatever you wanted," he says and kneels by the foot of the couch right in front of Alicia.

"Will, why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know if you felt_"

"I do. It's you Will, it's always been you."

He gets up and sits beside her on the couch, cups her face and brushes away her tears. "I love you," he says softly. He lowers his head, his lips brush hers. He catches her own 'I love you' with his lips as he starts kissing her softly. Her heart aches from the love she feels for this man. She had been a fool to ever push him away. But she had been scared. Scared of her feelings for him. Scared of being hurt again – probably worse than she had ever been. She had also been overwhelmed. Being with Will had made her feel young and carefree again. But she wasn't young or carefree. She had two teenage children to look after. It didn't matter. Now she was ready. Ready to jump in with both feet.

Like always, Alicia feels Will's kiss everywhere in her body. The man didn't just kiss with his mouth. He used his whole body. One hand cupping her face, his thumb slowly caressing her jawline. His other hand on her back pulling her closer to him. He was making her dizzy.

"You know," she starts once they pull apart. "In that time I had to make a choice between you and Peter," Will nods even though it hadn't been a question. "After I found out I was pregnant, I remembered calling you, but not what I said. I talked to my friend who was with me. I mean I called her about a month ago. And she told me I never talked to you, that I called a hundred times, but always hung up before you could answer."

"You called a few weeks later and told me you couldn't come. That you and Peter were getting married."

Alicia smiles sadly. "Yes that I do remember. I am sorry for…"

"What for?" he asks before she can finish her sentence.

"For…my part in our bad timing," she says softly and he smiles at her. She bites her lip. Will Gardner could make her feel like a school girl with a huge crush. Maybe because when they met she had been a girl in school with a crush on him the size of Texas. Maybe because he had been the love of her young life and once they reconnected the love of her adult life too. Or maybe it was just that boyish grin she adored.

Will cups her face in his palms. "I predict some very good timing for us from now on," he says before pressing his lips to hers. He was kissing her so slow, so soft she felt drunk on it. No one in the world could kiss like Will Gardner. No one could make Alicia loose her head with a well delivered kiss the way he did.

His hands left her face to trail down her neck, her collar bone, her chest and slowly pushing the blazer she was wearing over her shoulders. Alicia turns her body all the way towards Will. She grabs the handbag between them, throws it on the floor and pulls away from his mouth. She takes in a breath, lifts her skirt and positions herself in his lap. With trembling hands she takes off his t-shirt and just looks at him.

"See something you like?" he asks with a grin.

She smiles at him. "I like everything I see Mr. Gardner." And she means it. Faults and all, she adores this man and she is doesn't care if the whole world knows that Alicia Cavanaugh in in love with William Paul Gardner.


End file.
